VioletBlueVioletBlue

Evaluating smut, by the numbers.

Violet Blue writes,

WFMU’s Beware of the Blog has a post up titled “Christian/Family Values-Oriented Movie Review Database Restores My Faith In Snobbish Film Criticism,”
which links to this “mathematical” biblical rating system of
mainstream films — wait, I know you’re already laughing too hard to
see your monitor:

Link.

Read the review of Sin City and most especially
revel in the right-hand column detailing of offenses. I laughed so
hard I had to choke a bitch.

In the end, the “good Christian” reviewer just gives up:

“Sin City is yet another film that tends to remind me of the paintings
in which a gaggle of demons dance and prance about a boiling cauldron,
shrieking with glee as they toss soul after soul into the cauldron of
Hell, cauterizing any veins of escape.

I am not going to spend any time summarizing the listing in the
Findings/Scoring section in this report. The listing speaks volumes
about the content of this film. Nor am I going to provide a list of
Scriptures which apply to the sins demonstrated in this film. You
probably have a Bible.”

Link.

Reader comment: Stacia says,

This site is hillarious to go to after you’ve seen movies because they pick up on things that didn’t register (what? inappropriate spanking in The Incredibles?).

I just have a story to relate about a time I emailed the site owner regarding his somewhat arbitrary rating system. If you look closely you’ll see that maybe only two films get a perfect score – Mary Poppins being one of them. I wrote under a false email address and told him that I wouldn’t show my children this film because obviously Mary Poppins was using witchcraft and unholy powers gained from Satan to carry out her magical acts. He argued that Mary Poppins was a real life angel, getting her divine power from God. How does this differ from Harry Potter? I don’t know.

Anyway, he’s fun to get into arguments with. Give it a try!